Where’s the family home?

“We need to down-size”.

How often have you heard those words? Perhaps you’ve even thought them or said them out aloud.

Perhaps we get tired of all the clutter. You know the things we hang on to after the kids are gone; things that really belong to your children which they discarded long ago. The kids want to leave their childhood behind; their parents try to cling onto it.

In going back to being ‘just a couple’ we remove all that family clutter. Does that mean that the unit we move into can no longer be classed as the ‘family home’?

My parents started their married life in a house of just 10 squares. As the family grew, so did the house. It became impossible to sleep nine rapidly growing kids in two 3m x 3m rooms. So they added more bedrooms.

Because our father did shift work and needed to sleep during the day, our ‘living room’ was outside. We spent most of our waking hours there. The ‘study’ was the kitchen table and homework books were routinely cleared away for family meals.

And then, the kids started to leave home and it was no longer necessary to have a 6 bedroom house. Mum and Dad moved. They called it down-sizing but their new house was the same size as the old one.

It just didn’t have six bedrooms. It had four – but they still had a couple of kids living with them.

Living standards required that homes have more than one living area. The kids didn’t play outside any more; they ‘lived’ inside; in a different room to their parents.

Eventually the folks moved to a retirement village; just the two of them. Their unit is 10 squares. Dad says they’ve come full circle but that’s not quite right because this house has two bathrooms and no yard.

My mother often says to me – “you need to come home”. But she lives in the retirement village. I’ve never lived there; it has never been my home.

How do I tell them – the house that we all lived in is not my family home, it’s just the house I grew up in.

It’s their family home – the one where they brought all their kids home to, from the hospital; the one where they raised their kids and created their family. 

Its more than 35 years since I lived in a house with my parents and since that time there has been more than half a dozen houses that I’ve called home.

I have my own family now and as an adult it’s time to create my own family home.

My family home is not any particular building. It’s just a place where I feel that I belong; a place where I can feel comfortable with my family.

Where’s your family home?

 

©  Carmel McCartin – Budget Bitch

And don’t forget – (The views expressed in this blog are the personal opinions of the author. Don’t rely on them to make financial decisions, you have to make up your own mind. If you don’t like the content – then either stop reading or send me an email)

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